How does one say goodbye (indefinitely) to a place? A place that has become my life, my landscape, my home for a spell...
I'm having a little trouble believing that the four months that I prayed about, looked forward to, imagined for so long, are now coming to a close.
I've been taking pictures, walking a little bit slower, trying to pinpoint the smells and tastes and put them into words. All of my friends and I have been asking each other big, bold questions like, "What do you think you will miss most from here?" "How do you think you've grown the most?" and "What do you want to take back with you from this experience?" While these questions are all important, I'm having a difficult time putting words to my feelings. Part of me knows I won't even figure out some of these answers until months of living back in my "old life." I DO know, however, that this place has been just what I needed. And that I am changed. I don't want to go back, just push "play" as though my life at home and at school were just on "pause." I want to resume in a different manner: slower to make decisions and soak in an afternoon and more willing to sit through the entirety of a conversation rather than rushing off to the next thing on my agenda. There are other lessons and changes I want to take back with me too, however, I am not sure exactly what all of them are currently! I'm sure it will become more clear when I do reenter the States.
Although I will be sad to say goodbye to the jasmine that has recently filled the summery air, and pizza and pasta and gelato, and the friends I've made, and this 800-year-old monastery, and the nuns gardening outside of the kitchen window... it's time. I know it. I'm feeling more ready than ever to return to my family, and I can't wait for a vacation we will be taking almost right when I get back to North Carolina. I'm excited to see friends, both at Gordon and at home, whom I haven't been in the best touch with while here, with the knowledge that constant communication with home would remove me from fully living life here. I'm excited to take the recipes and ingredient inspiration I've received while here and incoporating these into some cooking lessons of my own finally (I'm ready to learn how to cook, Mom!). I'm excited to go to the beach with my sister, take some road trips with friends, and be able to read on our back porch swing at sunset. I can't wait to work at Tuscan Tavern again; it'll kind of be like my Orvieto away from Orvieto. I have lots of really exciting things to look forward to back at school in the fall too- a job I just received as a new student mentor, my Teaching Assistant position for musical theatre, taking my first directing class, living in an apartment my 5 best friends I've made at Gordon, and having a play that I wrote performed in chapel in September!
Please pray for me this last week with saying goodbye and getting ready to make the transition back into American life. I'm so excited to catch up with everyone and see all of your faces in just a few short days or weeks! Love and lemons from Italia,
Heather
